Put the Money in the Suitcase: The Strangest Real Estate Transaction Ever

• April 1st 2010

by Mark Wellborn

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The craziness of the real estate market over the last year has resulted in a number of weird stories, including a man raffling off his house for $50 a ticket and a realtor breaking into homes on behalf of their clients.

However, the story of how DC’s Jeremy Hoybill wanted to be paid for his studio apartment trumps them all.

Hoybill, a 32 year-old software consultant, bought a 600 square-foot studio in Dupont Circle in 2002. Last November, he put the unit on the market for $225,000, a favorable price point given the neighborhood. There was just one condition: The eventual buyer had to pay him all in cash…delivered in a suitcase…in an alley.

“I was really into crime and suspense movies growing up,” Hoybill told UrbanTurf. “I figured that this would be the one time in my life when I could re-enact a scene that would’ve been in one of those movies.”

Hoybill’s request was not only odd, but it naturally limited the buyer pool severely. Since this was an all-cash deal, the buyer would need to be well-off with a lot of cash at his/her disposal. It will come as no surprise that Hoybill’s unit attracted a lot of attention, but when buyers discovered the weird stipulation, they balked.

“I actually met Jeremy out at a bar one night before I went and checked out his place,” Sandra DeLillio said. “He was a nice guy, but halfway through the night, he wanted me to start calling him Bourne. For Jason Bourne.”

However, in January a retired government employee named Bill Stencil fell in love with Jeremy’s unit. And he was in a position to put up the cash that Jeremy required.

“I had equity from my old place in Virginia and wanted to live downtown,” Stencil said. “Given the way real estate transactions happen these days, I thought what Jeremy wanted to do was kind of neat.”

Hoybill was thrilled that he had a buyer, but even more excited because he had planned out the rendezvous and money drop-off meticulously. At 8pm on the day of the deal, Stencil would come to an alley off of R Street with the money. At 8:05pm, Hoybill would show up and the exchange would be made. However, how and in what manner he would show up was not clear.

“When I got there, Jeremy hadn’t arrived yet,” Stencil said. “Then out of nowhere, this figure wearing a black ninja suit comes running toward me. I realized that it was Jeremy, and as he came by he yelled at me to throw him the money. So, I did and the suitcase hit him and knocked him off his feet and he sprained his ankle.”

Needless to say, this is not how Jeremy envisioned this whole thing playing out.

“I watched the movie Ransom three times in a row before this went down!” he lamented. “I didn’t expect him to hurl the suitcase at me.”

The scene of the two men walking out of the alley was priceless: a middle-aged man supporting another hobbled man in a ninja costume, carrying a suitcase filled with $100 bills.

“You truly could not script it,” Stencil said. “And there will probably never be a home sale transaction like it again.”

Update: While it would be great if real estate deals actually went down like this, this story was concocted in honor of UrbanTurf’s favorite holiday. Happy April Fool’s Day!

This article originally published at https://dc.urbanturf.com/articles/blog/put_the_money_in_the_suitcase_the_strangest_real_estate_transaction_ever/1933.